Strangers and Chubby Bellies
So, I had my first "Are you pregnant?" moment with a stranger yesterday. I was at work, and helping a guy find some art supplies for his daughter, as he was attempting to wrangle his two little boys. As I was about to leave, he said "I don't mean to be nosy, but are you expecting?" When I told him I was, he congratulated me, and said that his children were the most rewarding thing he's ever done.
Now, while I didn't realize that my belly has become that obvious (especially in my work shirt. I think I just look chubby in it.) I think that it was very sweet for that gentleman to want to congratulate me, and pass on a little wisdom. However, I've known some women who get upset when people assume things, and as I walked away I though to myself "But what if I hadn't been pregnant, would I have gotten upset at him?"
I really gave this matter some serious thought as I put up my two thousand+ pieces of freight yesterday. Some women get SO upset at people for assuming things, and if they're not pregnant, I can see how some people might think"Oh, he's calling me fat" or "Oh, that's just rubbing our difficulties in our face."
My Mom told me of an experience she had a month after she gave birth to me. She was in line at a grocery store (presumably without me) and the lady in front of her commented on her clothing, and how much better maternity clothing had gotten since she was pregnant with her children! Mom said she realized the lady was just being sincere, and kind, and didn't correct her miss-assumption. Many people , when they assume, are just excited for you, and want to be happy for you! Before we announced our news, a lady from church pulled Thomas aside at a Halloween party, and asked if we were expecting. Thomas didn't say no, but made a comment that lead her to believe she was mistaken. She apologized to me the next day, saying "That costume just looked tight... but then again you've always had the boobs of a goddess!" (mind you, she loudly told me this across a hallway at church, as we were all heading into Sunday School) I could have gotten offended at the 'tight costume' comment, but I felt so bad for misleading her, and she would have been so excited if we had confirmed her suspicions! Coincidentally she was the first non-family person we told, a month later at a Thanksgiving potluck. She screamed (literally, screamed.) and jumped up and down, she was so excited. I have no idea why she was so excited about us being pregnant, when she had found out a few days earlier that SHE was expecting. :)
I suppose my point is; before you assume the worst in people, I personally find it better to assume the best. If they ask a question, be gracious. If they give an off compliment, either find a way to gently correct them if necessary, or be gracious. I'm pretty sure that since I judge people right off the bat, I always assume they do the same to me. This is something I've been working on, and I'm finding that the less I judge others, the more kind, and loving I am able to be to others... even those who might not totally deserve it.
But that's another story.
Now, while I didn't realize that my belly has become that obvious (especially in my work shirt. I think I just look chubby in it.) I think that it was very sweet for that gentleman to want to congratulate me, and pass on a little wisdom. However, I've known some women who get upset when people assume things, and as I walked away I though to myself "But what if I hadn't been pregnant, would I have gotten upset at him?"
I really gave this matter some serious thought as I put up my two thousand+ pieces of freight yesterday. Some women get SO upset at people for assuming things, and if they're not pregnant, I can see how some people might think"Oh, he's calling me fat" or "Oh, that's just rubbing our difficulties in our face."
My Mom told me of an experience she had a month after she gave birth to me. She was in line at a grocery store (presumably without me) and the lady in front of her commented on her clothing, and how much better maternity clothing had gotten since she was pregnant with her children! Mom said she realized the lady was just being sincere, and kind, and didn't correct her miss-assumption. Many people , when they assume, are just excited for you, and want to be happy for you! Before we announced our news, a lady from church pulled Thomas aside at a Halloween party, and asked if we were expecting. Thomas didn't say no, but made a comment that lead her to believe she was mistaken. She apologized to me the next day, saying "That costume just looked tight... but then again you've always had the boobs of a goddess!" (mind you, she loudly told me this across a hallway at church, as we were all heading into Sunday School) I could have gotten offended at the 'tight costume' comment, but I felt so bad for misleading her, and she would have been so excited if we had confirmed her suspicions! Coincidentally she was the first non-family person we told, a month later at a Thanksgiving potluck. She screamed (literally, screamed.) and jumped up and down, she was so excited. I have no idea why she was so excited about us being pregnant, when she had found out a few days earlier that SHE was expecting. :)
I suppose my point is; before you assume the worst in people, I personally find it better to assume the best. If they ask a question, be gracious. If they give an off compliment, either find a way to gently correct them if necessary, or be gracious. I'm pretty sure that since I judge people right off the bat, I always assume they do the same to me. This is something I've been working on, and I'm finding that the less I judge others, the more kind, and loving I am able to be to others... even those who might not totally deserve it.
But that's another story.
Bravo, Sweetie! I can't tell you how many times that sweet old lady has come to mind and how THANKFUL I am that God stopped my tongue ["What? I'm not pregnant!!"] in time so I could *think* about what she was really saying to me.
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