Mother's Day

I used to think I would be a great Mom. All I have ever wanted in life was to be a mom. From the time I was little, to college when I met my husband, I knew I was destined to be an amazing mother.

Then I got pregnant. 

All of a sudden this mom thing - which had looked so awesome and fun! - turned into my body attacking me from the inside out, and things didn't get much better after the baby came. I was solely responsible for the feeding, entertaining, and caring of a miniature human who took up a LOT of my time and energy. Scratch that, she took up ALL of my time and energy. 

Then I had two kids and realized that this occupation which I had so looked forward to, really wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I was caring for two little girls, changing diapers, wiping bums and faces, cleaning up toys, feeding (from my own body!) and comforting every bad dream and owie. My supportive husband, with whom I had wanted 6 children at one point (SIX KIDS! Proof I was nuts) was gone often with a demanding job and school schedule, and I was by myself with the kids for what seemed like days at a time. I'm not sure why I'm writing this is past tense, because this was our reality when Wren came along, and it is still how we roll. 

I'm here to say that being a Mom is not always what it's cracked up to be. It's not always fun, and it's certainly not always easy. It's so rough in fact, that I'm still wondering if I'm cut out to be a mom of 3, or if I should just stick with my two. 

What I can say is that it's amazing to see your heart wandering out in the world. To watch your children's eyes light up when they learn something new. To see sisters playing together, giggling in delight with each other. To think "Hey, I made you" and remember those oh-so painful days when they tap danced on your bladder, instead of the kitchen floor. 

Becoming a Mom, means you join an exclusive club. The members of that club know pure, unadulterated joy. They know the deepest heartbreak and pain. They are the strongest people in the world, and I know I haven't even scratched the surface of the strength some mothers have. I am blessed with two healthy, beautiful girls, and I am thankful for that every hour of every day. I was also blessed to carry a wee babe for 8 short weeks, and in those weeks I was every bit a mother to that one as I am to my other two. 

I used to think I would be a great mom. And you know what? I was right. I'm not great in the way I thought I would be, but Meggy keeps telling me I'm the best Mommy ever, and Wren hardly ever lets anyone else hold her, so I must be doing something right. 

Happy Mother's day to all the other great Moms out there. We can do this.